Cyber Sex - A Way of Life
"The old order changeth, yielding place to new,
And God fulfils Himself in many ways,
Lest one good custom should corrupt the world.” - Lord Tennyson
Perched on the precipice, we of the old school gape at the never-ending vistas of 'Cyberian scapes', which can be held captive on the desktop by a mere click of the mouse. In the deluge of Internet medium the political, geographical, religious, economic and ethnic boundaries have been reduced to irrelevance, like never before. And proudly we address this spectacular and huge world of ours with the oxymoron of ‘global village'.
If human interaction in socio-cultural, scientific fields has increased to this extent then the ever-cherished themes of -- 'love and sex'-- could not have been left untouched. Just a few years back, the virtual proximity achievable cyber medium even while sitting thousands of miles apart would have been beyond imagination. And that too with the option of revealing or not revealing one's identity? What more do we expect than the option of sharing some very intimate moments, yet maintain the garbs of anonymity. The very idea is hard to resist as armies of sex-smitten people indulge in fetish and raunchy talk -- to give vent to their hidden sexual desires, which perhaps they could never do in their real lives. Their actual lives embroiled in the urgencies of seeking livelihood, people seek solace (read nirvana) in the privacy of the desktop. Once done out of curiosity as an experiment, it gradually assumes permanence of addiction.
There are both for and against arguments on cyber sex. For those in its favour clamour over the fact that it is like giving vent to your pent up sexual desires while indulging in virtual sex. It is not perfidious activity as you are not involved in an amorous adventure in flesh and blood.
There are examples like the one of that jet-setting executive who found his house was a mere point on the globe - a destination where he had to spend some time before he moved ahead on his next assignment. The bored wife having nothing to do after the kids left home for school took to chatting, which ultimately ended up in securing her a cyber sex partner in the USA. Here is a classic case over which we can study the pros and cons of this neo-eroticism. Net sex, if it is secret and well kept would help one fulfil some of the most voluptuous desires without breaking the moral cordons of the society. This lady was satisfied in sharing her orgies with her American friend while remaining in the confines of her home. For had it not been the cyber sex, where else the love-thirsty wife would have found satisfaction? Where else but in sex in real life! And what does that mean? An extra- marital affair in plain words followed by a break up. Look how cyber sex prevented the crashing of her marriage too! (And God forbid if some spy ware installed by her husband were ever to trace her net talk -what would be the consequences- a divorce. (The courts in the western countries have accepted net sex as sufficient evidence for divorce). And we would be forced to call cyber sex both the saviour and the wrecker of a marriage in the same breath.
So at least cyber sex plays the vital role in the lives of even the most dissatisfied indoors to find gratification somewhere else in real life. But it is a fact that a lot of marriages and true-life relationships have fallen victims to the virtual sex. A chance stumbling of your partner into what could be your private territory can lead to the chasm being created. And once it is created, it results in more and more doubts and suspicions till the world falls apart. Some traditionalists argue that once the thin line of overt sexual activity is broken even in the impersonal perversion of cyber sex-- an act of deception has happened.
Sex specialists believe that it actually catalyses the sex lives of those couples that have lost interest in sex. The addition of gizmos like web cams, voice chats do add their bit to make the distinction between reality and virtual reality very thin. So can it also be argued that cyber sex has emerged as a therapy for those who have prematurely lost interest in sex? Some social sciences experts feel that cyber sex would play a critical part in opening up the society like ours that is stranded in the labyrinth of cultural and social inertias for centuries.
But the negative aspect of cyber sex is an increase in cyber crimes. With cyber police still being a non-entity, a lot of gullible and innocent people fall prey to deception. They travel hundreds of miles, putting their families and career in jeopardy to seek what is not! Yes, one thing that must be giving sleepless nights to the past generation is that more and more youngsters are indulging in 'passionate keyboard bashing'. We can well imagine the hell these kinds of mental sex orgies must be wreaking on the tender minds - who really don't know what is right or wrong for them?
And there are other social evils that are spreading fast through this otherwise innocuous mode of communication. There are reports of pedophiles prying on young children. Law more often than not prove toothless in this chaotic, crazy cyber world, where it cannot be fathomed who is after whom.
Cyber sex being a creation of recent years; it is hard to be judgmental about it. Its effects, side effects and ill effects would be borne by posterity. Perhaps like always, time would be the 'Last Judge' on the issue.
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